Blowing My Own Vuvuzela

I need to update my CV. I've been procrastinating on this part of the job search process because let's be honest, it's not fun. I have had some feedback on it varying from "it's not that bad" to it's awful and you'll never get hired unless you pay me loads of money to fix it for you. That part was not a direct quote, but that was the gist of what she was saying. When you google "help rewrite CV UK" you get 958,000 results! That overwhelms me enough to just give up right there.

It's been over 20 years since I had to officially apply for a job. I have applied for jobs since then but have always worked for people I knew since living in Korea, so haven't had to sell myself to a random stranger or the elusive ATS system which apparently is designed to never show my CV to anyone. Now to avoid ageism, you only need to put your last 10 years of work experience on your CV. Sadly my most professional job was more than 10 years ago. If I list in on my CV I risk being cut out of the running by showing my age, but if I leave it off, I'm leaving out one of the bits of my post-university life, that career-wise I'm pretty proud of. I should list my skills, but not boring ones that everyone puts on their CVs. Does this mean I need to create new and interesting skills? Or just re-word boring ones to sound more exciting? I should tailor it to every job I apply to and re-write it over and over before I drop it into the abyss of online job sites.

Honestly it's all a bit exhausting and makes me want to go to sleep. I'm not brilliant at selling myself. I don't want to sound self-important or like I'm tooting my own horn (I hate that expression!). I don’t even own a horn. I think Karen would probably use a vuvuzela or something more irritating than a horn anyway and I actually do have one of those in my house. I feel like I have the skills to do lots of things and lots of jobs I look at sound somewhat interesting, but my CV is a rather large obstacle I'm struggling to beat into submission.

I have bookmarked a few jobs on Indeed that actually sound interesting so I'm going to sleep on it (not literally of course, although if it would help. . .) Tomorrow is work on my CV day. I'm putting it out there to hold myself accountable. I was waiting till I figured out what I want to be when I grow up but it looks like that is going to take quite some time and I probably need to earn some money while I'm dreaming my way to a new reality. Also I learned today that the average job search takes 6-9 months and post corona possibly longer! I think I just need to channel my inner Karen and stop procrastinating. A not perfect CV is definitely more likely to get me hired than no CV at all. I'm off to blow my vuvuzela and go to sleep.